


To Turn a New Page

by Huff_Puff



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But Also Not Sadstuck, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, No Specific Relationship Really - Read Whatever You Want Into It., Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 21:29:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10795110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huff_Puff/pseuds/Huff_Puff
Summary: Jane approaches Jake to discuss why he jumped in front of the sword in Game Over.





	To Turn a New Page

**Author's Note:**

> Oh wow, I haven't written anything in...a really really long time. And it isn't Gravity Falls? Oh M Y-
> 
> But yeah, I fell into the Homestuck hole and I hate myself for it :) I've also found myself knee deep within the cosplay community on Instagram and I've met some amazing people through it despite the occasionally dramas that go along with it- 
> 
> Any who, this has certainly been an exercise in trying to improve and get back into writing stuff. It's probably terrible, but hey, at least I'm doing something again instead of sitting around with my finger up my butt.
> 
> Enjoy! <3

He was seated at the edge of a cliff when she approached him. His feet kicked back and forth, clunky boots spewing dirt down the ravine as he looked up at the sun - not green, thank god, but the ever hanging “thanks for playing” made her stomach churn with memories she would have rather suppressed. Even as auburn's, red's and orange's settled across the sky as day gave way to night, the words stayed burned into her irises from where they appeared at the height of day.

She paused a few feet behind him, shifting backwards slightly on her heels but refusing to backpedal herself out of this conversation. Her hands clenched and unclenched nervously, swallowing the lump in her throat that said this was a ridiculous idea and she was just going to make things tense - tenser (though that could have just been her muddling things in her head-) between them.

“Jake,” she greeted, pulling a smile onto her face, the word coming out a little higher-pitched than she would have liked.

His body stiffened, legs freezing in their kicking as he swivelled slowly to face her. A toothy grin met her thin-lipped smile as she approached him.

“Fancy seeing you out here, Jane,” he said as he stood up, brushing his shorts down. “I didn’t take you for a star-gazer.”

“Not usually,” she said as he helped her to settle at the edge of the cliff - not that she needed the help to sit for goodness sake, but she was well aware that Jake’s ‘gentlemanly honor’ would be grossly offended should she decline. “But it’s never too late to start, right?”

“Too right!” He agreed chirpily as he sunk back down next to her, leaning his hands back behind him and glancing at her. He smile still hadn’t faltered, and she wondered how he hadn’t quite seen through her ruse yet.

“Well, settle in then, let’s see who’s jammy enough to spot the North Star first!”

Jane shook her head, pushing him too hard so that he nearly went careening off the edge of the cliff with a loud yelp (Jane refused to acknowledge the way her pranksters gambit spiked up and then suddenly deflated as he righted himself). His laugh was loud and boisterous as he settled again. It was different to her hoots and Dirk’s little huff of air, to Callie’s little titters. Different even to Roxy’s high pitched fit of giggles that left her rolling around on the ground, even when whatever had been said hadn’t been particularly funny.

Jake’s shoulders shook at first, little quivers that quickly grew into full blown tremors, and then he’d display that ever-infectious and too big for what he’d - what they’d all been through - grin that quickly burst into guffaws of amusement. "By jose, Jane, I can’t very well beat you to the punch fair and square if you’re going to play dirty!”

“Why did you jump in front of me?”

Jake paused, his laughter dying in his throat and Jane immediately berated the words for slipping through her teeth.

“Jump in front of you?”

“...in the doomed timeline. Why did you jump in front of me?” No point in going back now. She may as well spit it all out, place all her cards face up on the table.

Unable to meet his eyes, she felt more than saw his body twist away from hers. Not much, mind you - she rather thought Jake didn’t realize he was doing it. But still, it hurt, to have one of her best friends close himself off so suddenly. She chanced a glance at him, noted the way his shoulders had hunched, how he picked at the fabric on one of his socks, legs now crossed under him.

He looked small.

“It was a doomed timeline, Jane, how am I supposed to remember why I would-”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Jake,” she interrupted fiercely, his mouth snapping shut with an audible click at her tone. “You know as well as I do that you remember jumping in front of me just as well as I do."

“Jane-”

_"Don’t interrupt me-_ ” never mind her own hypocrisy - “I just want to know why.” She turned hard to face him completely, pulling her legs up so she was kneeling next to him instead of dangling. It was something she'd wondered ever since they'd come out on the other side of the doorway, felt the in pour of memories coming from one timeline to the next (Dirk's poor brother had actually passed out at the time, too much for him to take, the poor dear). Her eyes searched the side of his face, but his green never flitted to her long, choosing instead to stare at something down in the ravine. He swallowed audibly, but didn’t reply, so she moved closer, grabbing his arm so she had his attention. His eyes averted to her hand on his arm.

“Please, Jake,” Jane said, searching for words that wouldn’t come to her. Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth. The words that she’d repeated over and over in her head, the planning she’d done to get this whole situation over and done with quickly - and most importantly, smoothly, stuck like too thick icing in the back of her throat. “I just...I was so _awful_ to you-”

“Jane-” Jake said, finally meeting her eyes, his own blown-wide with confusion, and god could he not say anything but her name right now? Just say nothing at all and let her get it all out?

“-I was so awful to you.” She pressed on. “What with the whole - the whole trickster thing, and my tiaratop making me go completely and utterly off my rocker...” She trailed off, shaking her head. Jake didn’t butt in this time, mouth pressed into a small but noticeable frown. She removed her hand from his arm and focused on a patch of grass at her feet, tearing it up with her hand in a fit of aggression. She felt Jake’s eyes follow the individual blades as she threw them at the ravine. Mostly (disappointingly), they just fell onto her lap instead.

Letting out a frustrated puff of air, Jane allowed the silence between them stretch out while she calmed down. Jake didn’t seem fit to intrude on the quiet for once.  
The hush was broken by the sounds of cricket chirps, and only then did Jane sense how late it was getting. The crayola colors of the sun had dipped into smudges of black and blue, interposed with white flecks of glitter that appeared to dazzle brighter with each passing minute. She wondered just who had won that bet - was about to cut through the tension between them and make a joke of it when Jake let out a heavy sigh.

“...call me a cliche, but I really like star-gazing,” he began awkwardly, turning his head to look back up at the sky. Jane followed his gaze, noting the constellations that blurred together across the painted page of night. “You know why? Because I don’t have to see that god-blasted reminder in the sky.” He sounded so mad, but it was a quiet temper, softened by the wonder in his voice as his eyes moved to and from each cluster of light. Jane sat still as a stone, afraid any movement might cause Jake to stop.

“Isn’t it enough that we all bloody _died_ because of it? It sits up in the sky and _taunts_ us, Jane. _Taunts_ us!” He laughed, but it was short and mirthless, coming from clenched teeth and a rigid figure. It made her mouth go dry, a hand closing hard around her heart.

“Jake, we aren’t...we aren’t talking about The G- about it,” Jane stuttered out - hating herself for the way she couldn’t spit it out like Dirk and Roxy could. “We’re talking about what happened _in_ it.”

“But it’s all the same, isn’t it? Shit show after shit show that all soups up to be one great big abysmal shit show that no one wants to try-”

“You’ve completely lost me,” said Jane. Jake paused in his tirade, breathing in deeply and then releasing it. His sudden bout of outrage seemed to go with it, steaming out like a slashed tire's air. Jane rest a hand back on his arm, patting in what she hoped was a calming manner, like she’d seen the trolls do.

“I just mean I don’t...like who I was in the game, Jane.”

“You don’t like who you were in the game? Jake, I was _corrupted_. By a giant pink fish lady from _outer_ _space_. If anyone deserves to hate themselves, it's me.”

“Yes well that wasn’t exactly your choice was it-?" He pointed out. She had to concede with him there."None of it was, really. Not me making you cry - on your birthday of all days too - or that whole trickster fiasco, and most certainly not that whole mind control nonsense. But it was my choice to be the dastardly fiend that I was. I was so ignorant of how you felt, all chewed up about Dirk and all…” he broke off, rubbing his face hard and leaving a red mark when his hand went back to dangle in his lap, legs slipping back off the edge of the cliff to kick back at the dirt. “I drove you to it, so it was only fair that I repay you in some semblance.”

“In some _semblance_? Jake you _killed_ _yourself_ for me!” She said, hearing the appalled tone in her own voice.

“Yes. Well. Better me than you.”

“And what’s _that_ supposed to mean?!” She bit out from surprise.  
  
Jake was looking more and more on edge, his frown creeping on uncertain. “Well...it’s exactly what it _means_ Jane. Better me than you - I wasn’t as important as you were to the game, after all. Just a page - and frankly not a bonzer one at that.”

“Oh, Jake…” Jane said.

“I mean, it’s not like I really did much good after that blue lady...you know. Tried to put her duplicitous charms on me. Just made some bright lights for a while.” He met her eyes and smiled, but it was so off-kilter he couldn’t have even half fooled her. “But _you_ could bring people back to life. And I know that you would have thrown that blasted tiara off sooner or later - nothing holds Miss Crocker down for good.” He shook his head slowly, a bitterness to the action that ladened his words, too. "But. Well. Fat lot of good it really did in the end, anyway."

Her stomach was doing flip-flops inside her chest, because there was no way Jake could have known that she could have come back to herself. Hoped? Sure. Hoped hard enough? Well. She supposed that was obvious enough. Quite suddenly she jerked at the sensation of something wet sliding do her cheek, touching her face. Oh _shoot_ , she hadn’t even noticed her own eyes betraying her.  
  
" _Bollocks_! Here I go again, making you cry!” Jake snapped quite suddenly, but she didn’t flinch for herself. The loathing in his voice wasn’t directed at her, after all. “Aren’t I just the most top-notch block you’ll ever meet, just dandy, absolutely bloody dand-  _ow_!” Jake doubled over, hands over his head to protect the area she’d just given a solid punch with one well meaning fist. She punched him again - his back, his arms. Shoving at his face with enough strength to annoy but not really  _hurt_ \- he was doing that well enough on his own.

“You absolutely jack-ass!” She bit out with all the rage she could muster. On her feet before she even realized she was standing, she found herself towering over his pressed flat to the ground body. “How dare you! How dare you think that you’re not as good as the rest of us! Do you really think that low of yourself? That you can just...just _get off_ on acting like that as if there wouldn’t be any consequences? Oh _Jake English_ I am _beyond_ upset at you! I. Am. _Furious_! I’d strife the living daylights out of you if I could see properly!” They'd backed away from the cliff edge at some point during the argument, a nugget of her thankful that there wouldn't actually be a serious fall despite the whole immortality thing. She did wonder how sore Jake's nose would be in the morning though, considering how hard her finger was smushing up the tip of it.  
  
"It might have been unfair, and awful, and just absolutely, mind blowingly _horrendous_ , but none of us would have wanted it to be unfair, and awful and horrendous without you!”

There was that silence again, but this time she could tell it was because Jake didn’t know what to say. That he was opening and closing his mouth and hunting for words that wouldn’t come, even though she couldn’t quite see his face in the dark. She didn’t need too - not with Dirk or Roxy or Callie, and not with Jake. She sunk down next to him when she heard a telltale, watery sniff, her fingers lacing carefully with his. “You’re not less important than any of us Jake. We’re all weaker when we’re apart.” She squeezed his hand lightly. Comfort wasn’t her strong suit, not by a long shot. That was more Roxy and Callie’s forte for sure.

But they weren’t here right now, and she’d opened this particular can of worms, and by the god that she was, she would pick them out one by one if she had to.

“Independence be damned, Jake, we need you as much as you need us.” She touched her head against his, and when he didn’t back away from her she felt a sharp burst of fierce protectiveness burn deep through her muscles to settle in her bones. Gently she nudged his side. “And you know what?” She continued with a softened note to her voice. ”If you’d been in my place, I would have jumped in front of that sword too.”

Jake said nothing for a while, and then he finally allowed his head to rest against hers. It was thank you enough. A thank you, and an apology and plea not to leave all in one. And although comfort wasn’t her strong suit, Jane clung to her friend and sat there until she couldn’t even see his silhouette beside her anymore, just felt his shoulders lift up and down as he breathed and felt his hand gripping hers like a life-line.

And then there was another body dropping to sit next to her, slim arms wrapping around her waist and squeezing lightly before moving to ruffle at Jake’s hair lightly. Only the air disturbed behind her and then the slight shift of someone settling down on the grass let her know a second person had joined them, and then a third smaller body was throwing a knitted warmth across their backs before crawling in and joining with a small hum of contentment.

Heads bent together, they stayed huddled in a comfort that required no words or gestures. Just the warmth of her family pressed on either side was well enough. And together, in the dead of the night with only the cricket chirps for outside company, they watched the stars until they began to slip into a renewed dawn. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments would be appreciated! I'm aware this work is not quite as top-notch as a lot of the Homestuck fics out there, but I wrote this for a friend for their headcanon and they encouraged me to post it. So - yeP. It's a thing now. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you liked it!


End file.
